It has been taught over the decades, even centuries, that to think about oneself before others is to be selfish and mean. This thought has been perpetuated even in the advent and popularity of the advice by psychologists that to be healthy and happy in one's relationships, you have to get to know yourself and help yourself first so that you have energy and time to help others, especially if those "others" are your family and friends.
This seems to tie in with the idea of some that they are not worthy of affection if they are not doing for others, or that they are not worthy human beings because they are "not needed." This sort of co-dependency is not only harmful to the one with the inferiority complex, it's also harmful to those with whom one wishes to ingratiate oneself, because it forces them into a feeling of "I can't live without this person because they provide such-n-such service and help." Making oneself emotionally or physically indispensible like that simply points to not only erroneous thinking handed down over the years, but serious self-esteem issues that result from that erroneous thinking.
Therefore, it has been suggested by many that to enhance and heal your relationships with others, you go on what is termed "self-dates" in order to heal your relationship with yourself. No money need be spent if you don't want to (or can't) spend anything. Just a trip to the library or going to the park with book in hand will do.
It's not just about "going within" or "meditation." It's more about fulfilling the edict set forth by the ancient philosophers: "Know Thyself."
Once you truly know yourself, you can perhaps begin to express what you most desire--and if that means getting out from under bad childhood programming, especially that of the ideology of being a "martyr for the cause" (a common piece of programming dating back I-don't-know-how-many-decades), so much the better.
Have a gander at this article about self-dating, set forth in this beautiful blog about keeping things simple, happy and healthy in your life.
BB,
Rev. Kat
This seems to tie in with the idea of some that they are not worthy of affection if they are not doing for others, or that they are not worthy human beings because they are "not needed." This sort of co-dependency is not only harmful to the one with the inferiority complex, it's also harmful to those with whom one wishes to ingratiate oneself, because it forces them into a feeling of "I can't live without this person because they provide such-n-such service and help." Making oneself emotionally or physically indispensible like that simply points to not only erroneous thinking handed down over the years, but serious self-esteem issues that result from that erroneous thinking.
Therefore, it has been suggested by many that to enhance and heal your relationships with others, you go on what is termed "self-dates" in order to heal your relationship with yourself. No money need be spent if you don't want to (or can't) spend anything. Just a trip to the library or going to the park with book in hand will do.
It's not just about "going within" or "meditation." It's more about fulfilling the edict set forth by the ancient philosophers: "Know Thyself."
Once you truly know yourself, you can perhaps begin to express what you most desire--and if that means getting out from under bad childhood programming, especially that of the ideology of being a "martyr for the cause" (a common piece of programming dating back I-don't-know-how-many-decades), so much the better.
Have a gander at this article about self-dating, set forth in this beautiful blog about keeping things simple, happy and healthy in your life.
BB,
Rev. Kat
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