I have a favorite song from Jon Anderson's Christmas album. I love it because it's high-energy, with great synth work, fab lyrics, and of course, the lovely man himself singing a piece of Truth that has, in recent times, played over and over in my mind.
I honestly think my spirit guide uses the song to remind me of one thing I've been having troubles doing: Letting go. And my spirit guide, as well as myself, does not care that the song was done back in the 1980s. If it comes from Jon Anderson, angel-of-prog-rock music, time and how old a song is does not matter. It's all good!
I remember reading that he wrote the song after meeting some Eastern mystic and encountering her own immense love for all, because the title of the song is "How It Hits You." She must have been some pretty awesome person for someone as advanced as I think Jon is to be THAT affected.
Well, I kind of feel the same way about Jon, actually. Because while I've not met him in person, his music and lyrics always serve to remind me about a lot of things...especially this whole thing of letting go. His own apparent love of humanity and persistence in seeing the good in everything, even while urging everyone to get it together because the "time is Now" never fails to inspire me. It doesn't hurt that he's got a voice like sunshine and a talent for music and songwriting that just won't quit. ;-)
So why this particular concept of letting go? Why has it affected me?
In short, Jon fell ill this past May no thanks to the respiratory issues that like to plague us singers, and supposedly the concert tour was going to be cancelled. That was the general idea, until one of his bandmates decided to take "Yes" on tour, without even calling Jon to see how he was doing, or to consult him at all about the matter. Needless to say, I, as a Jon Anderson fan, was majorly pissed. Not only was I pissed, I had read about it from Jon's own blog, and as tuned-in as I am to the guy and his music, it kind of blew my fuses. My heart-radio just went crazy and I couldn't hack it. I couldn't--and can't--imagine Yes without Jon at the vocal helm, leading the way to mystical vistas, per Yes tradition--or his own style, if you're only familiar with his solo work.
Yet, just the other day, he wrote in his blog that he had been watching the DVDs and listening to Yes' older work and remembering how each guy did his musical thing--even thinking fondly of Chris Squire's musical mastery with the bass guitar, despite the fact that it was Mssr. Squire himself who dissed Jon in the first place.
Up to then, I had felt so torn, so ambivalent about listening to the Yes stuff I have in my collection, because I had felt like I would be disloyal to Jon and his work if I did, remembering very painfully the wounds that a certain guitar player caused for not just Jon, but for the fans as well.
But reading Jon's vivid verbal portrait of his bandmates made me feel...So. Ashamed. Of. Myself. I knew precisely where my staunch loyalty and unbending fixation on such a high ideal of loyalty to great leadership came from, and I tell you, that was one of the biggest astrology lessons I've ever gotten: Saturn in Leo in the Ninth House. Yup. That's one of my placements. I had such a strong feeling and fixation on being angry at Chris Squire for acting like such an ass that I felt like I couldn't give myself permission to listen to Yes.
Reading Jon's blog the other day lifted such a burden...I then felt like if Jon could forgive Chris even a mere two or so weeks after the shock and blow, then I could, too, and that I was being just as much of an ass for giving myself over to a not-so-easygoing part of my personality. Does that excuse Chris from what I still feel is an overdue apology to Jon? Karmically speaking, no. He needs to take responsibility for his hurtful decisions. But, do I need to deprive myself of listening to Yes' stuff out of my heartfelt loyalty to Jon? No. I'm still feeling a tad ambivalent. But I know that if I do choose to pop in a Yes CD, I don't have to feel completely guilty, or feel like I'm disrespecting Jon.
In fact, given the shaky future of Yes, at this point, playing their music might keep my hopes up for continued performances--WITH Jon, of course, whether I get to see Yes (or just Jon) live or not.
I'm still working on the whole 'letting go' thing. I can tell because the bridge-lines in "How It Hits You" are still playing in my head, as a testament to recent events and how I personally can--and need to--grow as a human being.
By the way, the bridge lines in the song go like this...
"...Letting go can be easy! Letting go will help you! Letting go, it's so easy...letting go will help you...there's rivers to cross, rivers to cross...keep it up, keep it up, just look at it!"
I am sure that those of you who have heard this song will be singing along...just as I do, even when I don't need to be reminded, and I just like to sing the song because it puts me in a good mood. But then, Jon's music ALWAYS makes me want to swing on the stars.
BB,
Rev. Kat, the Jon Anderson fan ^.^
