Okay, so I didn't wait THAT long to post about fear.
And it's a loaded topic, with so many twists and turns that it would take weeks and weeks of blogging to unravel it.
Science has its explanations of the physical changes that accompany the emotion of fear. But do the chemicals make the fear? Or does the emotion of fear spark the chemical response?
Fear, as it is understood in both psychology and anthropology, is survival-based. It has its roots in our hunter-gatherer origins. I know this statement is oversimplified, but I'm blogging before work and I need to make this brief.
Natural fear reactions, just as they are, are natural. We are here on this planet. We live, we breathe, we grow. We're animals, and we want to stay alive, perhaps for no other purpose than to experience being human and to pass on our human genetic code to future generations.
But if there is one thing I have noticed about humanity, is that along with our larger skulls, larger brains (and in the view of natural selection, the idea that larger genitalia make for better survival of the species), we seem to have also developed notions of:
Rank or class
Superiority/Privileges (or lack thereof) based on rank or class
Inferiority/Privilges (or lack thereof) based on rank or class
Granted, other species also have something of a hierarchy, but their associations seem to be based more on physical size rather than finances or expertise in one field or another.
We humans, however, seem to attach much emotion and meaning to the above notions of rank, class, privilege, inferiority/superiority. We manipulate and shove people around emotionally and mentally because of these attachments, creating fear in people where there was none, originally.
Why? What's the purpose? Is it ancient, primal survival tactics that are merely blended in with modern times and the development of currency?
If that's all it is, the notions of financial and educational equality have been achieved to great success in many parts of the world.
But what of religious fear and the use of power and cruel manipulation to make the "common people" do what the people in power want done, supposedly in the Divine Name?
That, my friends, I have never understood, and I am still trying to wrap my head round it.
I am on a high right now, listening to Jon Anderson's "Toltec" album, so I am not necessarily in a very "academic" mood. ;-)
BB and Namaste,
Rev. Kat ^.^
Friday, June 12, 2009
The Mystical and Concrete
I've come to a rather disturbing understanding of an aspect of myself.
For all my mysticism, I can be very concrete in my thinking at times.
And I wonder why. Where do I get these hardcore ideas and why do I attach so much meaning to them?
And do these ideas become hardcore BECAUSE I'm so attached to them?
Is it that part of me that is so zealot-like? I know I can be that way...having very limited ideas about the world, even if they are high-flight mystical notions that I tend to treasure like Gollum treasures the One Ring.
And then I turn around and gripe about the zealots whose ideas are opposite my own, that I feel are harmful to human freedom and free will on many levels.
To which do I object more: their harmful ideas, or their stubborn, childish hardheadedness that makes it impossible for other ideas to come into their minds and soften their position and thoughts?
I've a gut feeling that it's the stubbornness, the hardheaded attitude that causes the problems. Fear, I am sure, is the root. But there's part of me that says "Surely it is not as simple as that."
But what if it IS as simple as that? And why DO we fear in the first place?
That's another ponderance for another time.
For all my mysticism, I can be very concrete in my thinking at times.
And I wonder why. Where do I get these hardcore ideas and why do I attach so much meaning to them?
And do these ideas become hardcore BECAUSE I'm so attached to them?
Is it that part of me that is so zealot-like? I know I can be that way...having very limited ideas about the world, even if they are high-flight mystical notions that I tend to treasure like Gollum treasures the One Ring.
And then I turn around and gripe about the zealots whose ideas are opposite my own, that I feel are harmful to human freedom and free will on many levels.
To which do I object more: their harmful ideas, or their stubborn, childish hardheadedness that makes it impossible for other ideas to come into their minds and soften their position and thoughts?
I've a gut feeling that it's the stubbornness, the hardheaded attitude that causes the problems. Fear, I am sure, is the root. But there's part of me that says "Surely it is not as simple as that."
But what if it IS as simple as that? And why DO we fear in the first place?
That's another ponderance for another time.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Dreams and Visions, Brought To You By the Geico Gecko...(j/k!)
Another very strange, very powerful dream occurred. Last one was about ETs and leadership, the deeper meaning of which still rather has me befuddled. I may do some Tarot work to clear that up.
This newest one was about vocation, career, life path. Not surprising since this is what I've been focusing on lately.
What DID surprise me consisted of the following elements:
1) My boyfriend and I are in the house (very well-appointed, I might add) of a leader of this odd spiritual sect that has recently garnered much favor in people's eyes. He also has a wife and children. One of them, the nine-year-old, is sort of skinny, frail and a bit like Charlie Brown in that he does not, by nature, have much hair, or that it is so light and fuzzy that it makes the child appear slightly bald. His brother is also skinny, but much older at seventeen, with a mop of fine, dark hair hanging past his collar. They do not play too much of a role in my dream, except as a natural part of the background, and that they are like their father: ancient and wise beyond their years.
2) He invites us both to stay overnight, as it is late and the service/workshop of his we recently attended has just ended. Plus, I am also there to answer his advertisement for a manager's position in a New Age shop he owns. He would be the boss, fronting the money for product purchases and whatnot, but allowing the manager to run the shop as he/she saw fit, trusting that he/she would use their intuition to know what the business needed to thrive.
3) We go ahead and stay over, sleeping in a bed that is situated in the man's very large personal study, as it's the only guest bed in the house, despite the large amount of square-footage of the home. When we awaken, the man is sitting across from us in his chair. I can now see his face and it is quite craggy, as if his face were carved rock. He also feels quite old...MUCH much older than he looks.
4) It is now that I begin to perceive that he is not as he seems. Not that he is "bad" or "evil," but simply hiding something about his true nature from me. The scene switches and we are all in the kitchen, sitting at his dining table. His first words to me, as he looks me squarely in the eye, are: "You don't really want that manager's position, do you? I know you. As soon as you become ensconced in that job, you'll be wishing you could work on your writing and music. Please be honest with yourself."
5) His wife, who wears Coke-bottle glasses and long ash-blonde hair says, "Yes. I was the same way...going from job to job, wishing I was doing what burned in my heart. Now I have created my dream job, my life's work, and I couldn't be happier."
6) The man and his wife ask Q and me to stay for dinner. Q wants to get going and leave, but I ask him if we could stay, as I felt it would be rude to refuse a meal when they were being so hospitable. Plus I want to speak more with them both. Q agrees and we sit down to a meal of cheesy vegetables and a side of leaves, twigs and flowers with insects in them.
My thought upon awakening was "Who the heck was this guy?" and then it dawned on me that "Lizard," a power animal from Stephen Farmer's Power Animal Oracle Deck had been showing up in my readings of late, representing Dreams and Visions.
I HAD to look up the diet of a lizard, particularly that of the type of lizard featured on the card. Aye, sure enough...most lizards are insectivores, with some enjoying many varieties of fruit.
This suggested to me that perhaps the man was the Lizard totem in disguise, because why else would insects show up on the menu? And there WAS that odd feeling of something being hidden from me...not to mention the man's feeling of being ancient despite his relatively youthful appearance (he looked like he was in his 50s or 60s). Lizards also represent Primal, Ancient energy, which might explain that "ancient" feeling from the man.
Again, as I said, even his kids felt older and much wiser than their years--though one was playing video games and one was simply happy to run around the room with a balsa-wood model plane in his hands. I didn't see the eyes of the 17-yr-old, but the eyes of the 9-yr-old were deep hazel-blue, beautiful, thoughtful as well as playful, as if he were meant to take his father's spiritual reins later on in life--and was more than willing to do it because he knew what his father was doing was correct: healing and guiding folks to better-lived lives.
Anyhow, I really doubt this dream needs much more interpretation than what I gave it just because it was THAT vivid and powerful...
So far the themes have been:
Leadership/Answering a Call
Being Honest With Myself about My Vocation.
Yeah, pretty powerful stuff, I'd say.
BB, and Namaste,
Rev. Kat ^.^
This newest one was about vocation, career, life path. Not surprising since this is what I've been focusing on lately.
What DID surprise me consisted of the following elements:
1) My boyfriend and I are in the house (very well-appointed, I might add) of a leader of this odd spiritual sect that has recently garnered much favor in people's eyes. He also has a wife and children. One of them, the nine-year-old, is sort of skinny, frail and a bit like Charlie Brown in that he does not, by nature, have much hair, or that it is so light and fuzzy that it makes the child appear slightly bald. His brother is also skinny, but much older at seventeen, with a mop of fine, dark hair hanging past his collar. They do not play too much of a role in my dream, except as a natural part of the background, and that they are like their father: ancient and wise beyond their years.
2) He invites us both to stay overnight, as it is late and the service/workshop of his we recently attended has just ended. Plus, I am also there to answer his advertisement for a manager's position in a New Age shop he owns. He would be the boss, fronting the money for product purchases and whatnot, but allowing the manager to run the shop as he/she saw fit, trusting that he/she would use their intuition to know what the business needed to thrive.
3) We go ahead and stay over, sleeping in a bed that is situated in the man's very large personal study, as it's the only guest bed in the house, despite the large amount of square-footage of the home. When we awaken, the man is sitting across from us in his chair. I can now see his face and it is quite craggy, as if his face were carved rock. He also feels quite old...MUCH much older than he looks.
4) It is now that I begin to perceive that he is not as he seems. Not that he is "bad" or "evil," but simply hiding something about his true nature from me. The scene switches and we are all in the kitchen, sitting at his dining table. His first words to me, as he looks me squarely in the eye, are: "You don't really want that manager's position, do you? I know you. As soon as you become ensconced in that job, you'll be wishing you could work on your writing and music. Please be honest with yourself."
5) His wife, who wears Coke-bottle glasses and long ash-blonde hair says, "Yes. I was the same way...going from job to job, wishing I was doing what burned in my heart. Now I have created my dream job, my life's work, and I couldn't be happier."
6) The man and his wife ask Q and me to stay for dinner. Q wants to get going and leave, but I ask him if we could stay, as I felt it would be rude to refuse a meal when they were being so hospitable. Plus I want to speak more with them both. Q agrees and we sit down to a meal of cheesy vegetables and a side of leaves, twigs and flowers with insects in them.
My thought upon awakening was "Who the heck was this guy?" and then it dawned on me that "Lizard," a power animal from Stephen Farmer's Power Animal Oracle Deck had been showing up in my readings of late, representing Dreams and Visions.
I HAD to look up the diet of a lizard, particularly that of the type of lizard featured on the card. Aye, sure enough...most lizards are insectivores, with some enjoying many varieties of fruit.
This suggested to me that perhaps the man was the Lizard totem in disguise, because why else would insects show up on the menu? And there WAS that odd feeling of something being hidden from me...not to mention the man's feeling of being ancient despite his relatively youthful appearance (he looked like he was in his 50s or 60s). Lizards also represent Primal, Ancient energy, which might explain that "ancient" feeling from the man.
Again, as I said, even his kids felt older and much wiser than their years--though one was playing video games and one was simply happy to run around the room with a balsa-wood model plane in his hands. I didn't see the eyes of the 17-yr-old, but the eyes of the 9-yr-old were deep hazel-blue, beautiful, thoughtful as well as playful, as if he were meant to take his father's spiritual reins later on in life--and was more than willing to do it because he knew what his father was doing was correct: healing and guiding folks to better-lived lives.
Anyhow, I really doubt this dream needs much more interpretation than what I gave it just because it was THAT vivid and powerful...
So far the themes have been:
Leadership/Answering a Call
Being Honest With Myself about My Vocation.
Yeah, pretty powerful stuff, I'd say.
BB, and Namaste,
Rev. Kat ^.^
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