I recently finished Joe Vitale's "Hypnotic Writing" book. I had been reading it at work, and whilst I was in the tail end of the book, one of my Native American co-workers, Melissa, saw what I was reading and seemed curious about it.
So I told her, thinking "Okay, here is another potential writer friend." I don't know if she truly wants to be a writer, or she is simply seeking knowledge for its own sake (which isn't all bad). But yesterday, she asked me if I'd finished reading the book and when I said yes, she asked if I'd learned anything.
On the surface, it seemed like a silly question. If I didn't want to learn from that book, I wouldn't have read it. However...I've been turning that question over and over in my head, in my usual Virgo-midheaven tactic of overanalyzing stuff (or at least the potential thereof), and wondering if I didn't go through the book too quickly.
See, I get this feeling that the two Natives who have been the most friendly to me so far in the manner of wanting to get to know me (without being like Miss Queen Bee) don't take knowledge and learning lightly...and I would love to spend more time with them, in order to confirm those hunches. And I would dearly love to know more about their particular traditions. Not so I can steal them. Not only would it be silly of me to try, as I don't look a thing like a Native American (for starters) but it would be very disrespectful of me.
It is an interesting experience being around the Meskwaki people just by working at the casino. And that's understating things. Perhaps I am romanticizing things a bit, but from day one of getting my first approval letter from the Sac & Fox Gaming Commission, I have not once taken this whole opportunity lightly.
My co-workers may view the casino as just a place to earn money, but for me this experience represents an extraordinary range of thoughts, feelings and chances to start fresh with my life.
And it's an opportunity to experience being around those whose ancestors were here before mine ever were. And the more I am around them, the more I feel so, so torn, and so elated at the same time.
I've felt that way just being around Quentin, even though he does not choose to practice the traditions of his own people.
And I think, what is it that the Native Americans have or know that my own race does not? Am I or other modern members of my race even allowed to have such knowledge? Should we be allowed to have it, since we have deprived many First Nations members of their rights as human beings? To give you a better idea of how torn I feel, here is an example:
My heart couldn't even get into the usual 4th of July celebrations because my mind was on my new friends' tradition of Proclamation Day, something that is specific to the Meskwaki--it is their own way of claiming their 'State of Independence,' because they got smart and bought their own big piece of land from the US government and instead of it being a "reservation," it is considered a 'Settlement.' They took control of their own tribal destiny and owned it fair and square...not unlike the American colonists who took their destiny into their own hands, and created a new nation for themselves just because George III of England was basically being a controlling jackass.
...yet...years later, the Native Americans were viewed as lower than the black slaves...and then not much later many tribes were made to live on government-sanctioned reservations (with the obvious exception of the Iowa branch of the Meskwaki)...we Caucasians repeated similar, controlling mistakes our English ancestors made, only towards another race--a race that wasn't even "imported" from another country, but had been there many hundreds of years before the Puritans--or the Spanish conquistadors, if you're attuned to the Mesoamerican 'vibe.'
We took their lands, their sources of food. And now it seems many modern spiritual seekers are drawn to Native culture too (I am not exempt from feeling drawn, either), and are all too willing to incorporate it into their own practice without considering the feelings of those from whom they are taking such beautiful traditions and watering them down to suit European sensibilities. Is it any wonder that many tribal elders are fearful, angry and feeling rightfully disrespected?
Yet not all seekers are like that...some are indeed very respectful, and would honor the Native ways deeply and mindfully, in an effort to heal many centuries of cultural conflict, to build bridges of friendship based on mutual honesty and trust--albeit hard-earned trust. Still, there is the matter of ancestry --and all that karmic buildup that resulted--to be resolved. Because of this matter, how far deep should we Caucasians go into learning Native ways without disrespecting the paths of the Elders?
I think the most fair and balanced answer to this dilemma is from this one Native elder who told Druid priest Philip Carr-Gomm and his wife Stephanie that the white folks "need to make peace with their own ancestors." Once they do, "then they can come to us." I honestly can't argue with that.
It is knowing and feeling the power of that statement churning in my soul that brings me back to Melissa's question of whether or not I learned anything from "Hypnotic Writing."
It does not have so much to do with the actual topic of that book. But rather that the Native American and the Caucasian worlds are far enough apart in geographical and traditional ancestry, let alone philosophy of thought, as well as feeling and sensibility, that the way the First Nation peoples--at least those who still get to practice their ways--might view learning and knowledge is vastly different from the way Caucasians see it: cautious, humble and soulful in stark contrast to our tendencies to get high-n-mighty and more than a good deal self-important as we glibly cogitate, regurgitate then graduate.
And yet, the two Meskwaki people who have truly gotten curious enough about me--in a genuine way--are open to learning more about the Caucasian members of the human family, instead of being like Miss Queen Bee and making fun.
One of them, named Edwin, used the jazz music of a car commercial on tv to break the ice further with me, and asked me what music I liked. I told him about Jon Anderson and Vangelis' influence on me, and told him about two of my favorite of Jon's songs: "Change We Must," and "Hurry Home." He even took out a notebook and wrote down the titles of the songs to look up on YouTube.
I think if there is any Meskwaki person I'd want to get to know better, it's Edwin. His energy is quiet and soulful. He does not take himself too seriously, I don't think, but he seems willing to deeply consider any new, incoming information that he thinks he might learn from. I did notice that he seems to be a deeply spiritual man...he was reading a book called "Welcome, Holy Spirit."Based on this one observation, I can probably assume that he is most likely a Christian, but given most well-known Native perceptions of what the Holy Spirit is like, I would be deeply interested to know and understand his take on the book he was reading.
He asked me what book I was reading, and I showed him my copy of "Way of the Peaceful Warrior," by Dan Millman. I told him that a movie had been made of the book and asked if he'd heard of it before. He said he hadn't. I wonder if he will ask me about it later or simply Google it.
And underneath all this mental chatter about my new friends, I am wondering if all my own searching within as a result of beginning work at the casino has attracted certain people within the tribe to begin to speak with me and be friends. I mean, I didn't necessarily ask the Universe specifically about becoming friends with at least some of the Meskwaki. But if we're talking specifics...why Melissa and Edwin and not others of the tribe? "Vibe" match, I suppose. :-P
I know...I am probably analyzing this experience into the ground, but still, wrapping my head and my heart around this whole thing has been one heck of a ride.
I have spent much time on this and not enough time in my Dreamwalking. I better go grab at least *some* semblance of shuteye. Perhaps Brother Lizard will guide me to deeper understanding through my dreams as to any underlying reasons or purposes why the Universe led me so quickly to a job at the casino.
Blessed Be,
Rev. Kat ^.^
